


Love in Mysterious Places

by MenagerieOfDarkness



Series: Swampback Hill: A Romance [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Shrek (Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Batman Kink, Batman is a dom don't @ me, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Consensual Kink, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Implied Mpreg, Implied Relationships, M/M, Meet-Cute, Multi, Non-Penetrative Sex Toys, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, Shrek is a sub, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:46:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MenagerieOfDarkness/pseuds/MenagerieOfDarkness
Summary: On his way to a CVS, Shrek encounters a mysterious figure. Will he be able to fight off his incredible lust or will he be a slave to his desires?
Relationships: Hulk (Marvel)/Kermit the Frog/Shrek (Shrek), Hulk (Marvel)/Shrek (Shrek), Shrek/Batman
Series: Swampback Hill: A Romance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851799
Kudos: 2





	Love in Mysterious Places

The hot July sun had faded into a cool autumn breeze before Shrek could even realize it was happening. The thick pine trees surrounding his and his lovers’ newly built cabin were still luscious and green, leaving small piles of brown needles in their wake. Hulk had helped Shrek build the cabin. It was a lengthy process, shortened slightly by Hulk’s strength allowing him to knock down a full-grown pine with a just a few punches, but now they lived peacefully in the West Virginian mountains, the three of them falling asleep together in front of the fireplace and waking up in each others’ arms. Kermit’s felt complexion was especially warm and cozy when the temperature dipped ever so slightly outside, making Shrek even more grateful that the small frog puppet became lost in the woods and found Shrek and Hulk’s campsite. It was almost like fate had brought the three of them together to spend their lives in the pine forests beneath the ever-expansive skies, just as Hulk and Shrek had promised each other.

“Hey, honeys, what do you want for breakfast?” Shrek heard Kermit in the kitchen, placing a large frying pan over the stovetop. Hulk was still asleep, only responding with his loud snoring. The ogre felt a slight grin cross his face as he walked over to Kermit, pressing his morning wood against the frog. It hit the back of his head since Kermit was so much shorter than Shrek.

“Maybe you’re hungry for something.”

“Well, golly, after last night, no thank you. Do you know how hard it is for me to clean myself out every time?”

Shrek blushed slightly at the memory of the previous night, Hulk’s dick ramming into his prostate over and over while he used Kermit as his own living, cotton cocksleeve. The frog fits perfectly around his ogre penis, leaving room for him to release an onslaught on onion cum all over Kermit’s innards. It was beautiful.

“Well, I guess I could get us some condoms.”

Kermit nodded enthusiastically, having needed to soak himself in soap and bleach five times to get the stains out. His fabric was very absorbent, it turned out, so he carried the faint pungent smell of semen for days.

“Alright, tell Hulk when he wakes up that it’ll be home soon.” Shrek gave Kermit a playful slap on his green cheeks before slipping on his assless chaps and checkered shirt. His chaps hung a looser than they did in July, a diet of fruits and nuts having stripped Shrek’s body of some of its fat and his thick ass of some of its voluptuousness. Still, he never heard Hulk complain, even as the taut skin he used to grab onto grew flappy and sullen from the sudden weight loss.

It took Shrek around an hour to get to the nearest town by horse. His trusted steed Onion staggered down the steep mountainside. There was a light breeze that filled Shrek’s nose with scents of pine needles and wet rocks. He almost felt saddened to leave the comfort of the forest, the log cabin he Hulk and Kermit built with their bare hands, if only for a few hours. Soon, the town was in sight.

Shrek tied Onion to a lamppost, the horse letting out an angry whinny at being left in a spot with no grass to graze on, but the ogre pat his snout until the fat horse relaxed. They were right in front of a CVS, its red logo reflecting sunlight in a menacing manner. Shrek steeled his nerves for the onslaught of scents of medications, antiseptics, cheap perfume and food, and he rushed to the ‘family planning’ aisle to grab some condoms. Large for him, none for Hulk. Unlike Kermit, Shrek did not mind the feeling of his lover’s load slowly leaking out of his puckered, pink hole.

He tucked the pack of 50 condoms under his arm. It was enough to last at least two weeks, maybe more if he stroked his own ogre cock instead of ramming it into Kermit’s velveteen ass. But, he never saw a reason to waste his juices, not even there was a willing recipient to guzzle it down with all of his holes. Shrek smiled at the thought and tried to will his dick to stay down, thoughts of the previous night, sending a rush to warmth to the front of his chaps. He should probably leave before anyone noticed. Despite the many kinks he had — some from his life before the forest, some acquired in the past few months — exhibitionism was never one of them. But, a stranger blocking the aisle stopped him.

The man was tall and buff and wearing a suit fancier than a CVS deserved. His back was facing Shrek, so the ogre couldn’t see his face, but he could see his muscular ass protruding through his tight slacks. His shoes were very large too, and Shrek licked his lips at the thought of what that could imply. No, he quickly shook his head. His body — penis, cheeks, and all — belonged to Hulk and Kermit, no one else. Shrek tried to push past the man, throwing all niceties and politeness aside, but he stopped him.

“Excuse me,” the man spoke in a low, gravelly voice that seemed to vibrate through the ogre’s sensitive body. He turned to look at the man, maybe offer a quick apology, but he stopped when he saw his cold, dark eyes, the large bat-shaped cowl that covered his head and most of his face. 

“B-batman?” Shrek sputtered out, almost dropping his condoms.

“Yes. I am Batman.” The man struck a heroic pose, a smug smirk on his face. He eyed Shrek up and down, taking special notice of his assless chaps. Shrek felt his cheeks glow a soft scarlet; he could almost feel Batman staring at his half-hard cock. 

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Batman raised a fashionably-clothed foot and softly ground his shoe into Shrek’s crotch, making sure to dig a bit deeper with every twist. Shrek instinctually dropped his condoms, hands moving downwards to cover his rapidly-rising dick. Batman’s smirk grew wider as he saw the growing bulge in Shrek’s chaps. He leaned over, whispering right into Shrek’s protruding ears with a deep, raspy whisper, “I can help you with that. It’s what heroes do.”

Shrek shuddered at the sound of Batman’s voice, the thick musk of his aftershave. Normally, Shrek would have had the first of his daily penetrations already, but this impromptu trip had ruined his morning schedule. His dick felt heavy and sore inside of his chaps, begging, crying to be released, to be touched. He refused to focus on how his ass felt, empty, longing to be filled with a large, throbbing cock. Shrek tried to fill his mind with his days in the cabin, but the thought of his two lovers only made him hornier. If no one touched him soon, he just might explode.

“Please, Batman,” Shrek clung to the suited man’s broad chest, green fingers grabbing at the soft, expensive fabric. “Please fuck me.”

Batman lifted Shrek’s chin up and placed a delicate kiss on his lips, brief and fleeting, and blood rose to the ogre’s cheeks. He was kissing Batman in the family planning aisle of a CVS.

“We can’t do it here.” Shrek glanced at all of the people milling around the store, a few taking notes of the strange, green ogre who entered and was pressed up against Batman. Shrek could swear he felt the other man’s dick begin to balloon in size whenever another middle-aged man turned to watch.

“Of course. Come here,” Batman took Shrek’s arm and led him to a door labeled ‘Employees Only.’

“Don’t worry. I’m the manager.” Batman pushed open the door, revealing a large room with a small kitchenette area, a few spare tables and chairs. It was thankfully empty. Shrek laid himself down on one of the tables and began to shuffle out of his assless chaps. His green salami flinched as it hit the cold, sterile air, but it stayed upright and ready. Batman began to slowly remove his shirt and jacket, taking his time to reveal every bulging ab, every long, well-toned bicep. Shrek’s mouth was watering, and the pants hadn’t even come off yet.

The superhero bent over and grabbed the bottoms of his slacks, ripping them off with ease, a shower of black confetti littering the room. His silk boxers were overflowing with dick, a thick silhouette pressing against the fabric like a caged animal ready to escape and destroy the village that was Shrek’s luxurious cheeks. He unleashed the beast, and Shrek was not disappointed. It was pale and nearly 11 inches long, several silver rods piercing through the shaft like a long, juicy kebab.

Batman leaned over Shrek, and the ogre winced in anticipation of the first thrust. He hadn’t lubed himself this time, not expecting the sudden sexual interaction with the billionaire, and it didn’t seem like Batman had any lube in his utility belt. He was sure it would hurt, but Shrek didn’t mind a little pain. But, the superhero didn’t penetrate him and instead latched onto his large, green nipple like a starving infant, swirling his tongue over and over again. Shrek felt his breath hitch with every small nibble. He closed his eyes and felt his head lean all of the back onto the cold table. But, the soft bites grew harder and more frequent until the ogre felt something cold and sharp clamp down on his sensitive, pepperoni nipples. Shrek’s eyes flew open, not sure what he would see.

A large, silver nipple clamp hung from his plush chest, dagger-like teeth digging into his skin. Shrek flinched as Batman attached a second one, his cool hands gently stroking the area between the two clamps.

“Are those...?”

“Bat Nipple Clamps. I never leave home without them.” Batman patted his utility belt, and Shrek wondered what other toys he had hidden in there.

“Now,” Batman grabbed Shrek’s arm and forced him into a seated position. There was a cold glint in his eyes. “Let us begin.”

He took out a pair of Bat Handcuffs, handcuffing Shrek’s beefy wrists together. Shrek felt so exposed, naked on the table of a CVS employee lounge, cold handcuffs and nipple clamps digging into his sensitive skin. His cock, however, refused to grow flaccid despite the pain. If anything, Shrek felt it come alive, and he bit his lip to suppress a low moan.

Batman smirked and forced Shrek onto his knees on the tile floor. It was nothing like the warm pine needles and wooden floor Shrek normally sucked dick on, but he willingly opened his mouth, giving Batman’s Bat Penis a slight lick, tracing around the piercings.

“Did you know,” Batman spoke between almost nonexistent shudders. Shrek knew he must be used to this; he was barely reacting to the ogre’s award-winning cock gobbling techniques. “Did you know that bats are the only non-human animals to perform fellatio during sex?” Batman grabbed Shrek’s head and forced him to swallow all of his penis. Every last inch filled Shrek’s mouth, the metal bars clicking against his teeth.

Once the entirety of his penis was inside, Batman started to thrust, facefucking Shrek like his life depended on it. Shrek wasn’t used to being treated too roughly, like a cocksleeve that existed only to be used over and over again. He shuddered as Batman flicked one of the nipple clamps, sending waves of pleasure and pain right down to his throbbing member. He was so close, and Batman had barely touched him.

After a few minutes, Batman released the ogre, picking him up like he was as light as a feather and placed him back onto the table. His dick was still solid and upright, barely moving, and Shrek felt a bit insulted that his entire repertoire of cock-destroying didn’t even force a few drops of pre-cum out of the billionaire’s Bat Mobile. Batman took some Bat Lube out of his ultimate belt and stroked Shrek’s hole with a slimy finger. It was cold and bore a strong and papery scent like freshly-printed dollar bills. Batman shuddered at the scent, the bits of his face not masked by his cowl blushing slightly.

“If there’s anything I love more than money and fighting crime, it’s pounding ass.” Batman thrust his oversized sausage into Shrek’s gaping cheeks, lube spilling out over the table. Shrek felt his eyes roll to the back of his head; Hulk had never been able to pipe him this good, having been a near virgin before their first tryst in the woods. Batman continued to flex his hips with expert precision, his Bat Cock impaling the ogre’s prostate with every thrust. The sterile odor of the employee lounge was quickly being overtaken by the thick smell of money and sweat.

“Oh, Batman!” Shrek wanted to dig his stubby little nails over the hero’s back, but the handcuffs stopped him. “Please, cum inside me!” He noticed the packs of condoms spilled all over the floor and how Batman wasn’t wearing a rubber. Oh well, Shrek thought. Hulk never wore a condom, and nothing had happened. The man stopped his thrusting, but he kept his dick inside, balls outside, just like it should be.

“Not yet. I want you to beg for it.” Batman reached back into his utility belt and pulled out a Bat Cock Ring, silver just like the cuffs and the clamps. He slipped it over Shrek’s cock like a nut over a bolt. It was cold and tight, and the ogre shivered slightly as blood flow to his jolly green giant was restricted. But, that sensation was nothing compared to when Batman turned the ring on, and the vibrations began.

Shrek saw stars as the cock ring turned his dick into tapioca pudding. The intermittent jolts and spasms sent waves of electricity up and down his spine. Tears flooded his eyes as the vibrations intensified until Shrek felt his hips begin to buck.

“P-please, Batman.” He was growing desperate, his ass so full yet so hollow at the same time, like a sad vat of butter waiting to be churned. He even tried to move himself back and forth to ride Batman’s stupendous cock, but to no avail. Batman’s smirk grew brighter, both amused and turned on by the pathetic display.

“If you insist.” He whispered into Shrek’s ear, warm breath tickling his neck. And then, the thrusting returned with a vengeance, rapid-fire movements in time with the vibrations. Shrek felt a thin line of drool creep down his chin as he lost all control over his body. He felt like a thicc piñata getting beat over and over again by a long, hard wooden pole, ready to burst open. And burst open he did.

“Oh, Batman!” Shrek cries out as enough semen exploded out of his cock to turn the Pacific Ocean white and oniony. He was sure his face was bright red, and ribbons of sweat-soaked his bald head down to his swole body. The sweat quickly cooled under the intense air conditioning of the CVS, and as the post-nut lucidity began to kick in, Shrek realized where he was and who he was fucking. He barely made a sound when Batman came inside of him, warm and moist like the Amazon rainforest.

Batman pulled out, spurts of baby batter leaking from Shrek’s hole onto the floor, and removed the cock ring, clamps, and cuffs with such speed that Shrek wondered if he did this with every deliciously chunky customer to walk into the store. Both men slowly shuffled back into their clothes, Batman still pantsless since he had destroyed his slacks in his moment of lust. Shrek slowly collected his boxes of condoms and shuffled out of the lounge and to the cashier, trying his best to avoid the eyes that were still staring, probably overheard their loud lovemaking from the other room.

“It’s on the house for this one.” Batman peeked his cowled head out the door and winked at Shrek. “And I’m sure there will be more discounts for you when you come back.” Shrek nodded before he left, but he didn’t look back.

Leaving the CVS, Shrek mounted Onion and began the long trek back to the cabin in the forest, back to the walls he built himself with Hulk and Kermit, where the air was scented with pine needles and wood instead of antiseptics, where he belonged. Tears began to spill down his green cheeks as he grew closer and closer to the house, and a deep sense of guilt started to wash over him. How could he face Hulk after what he had done? Shrek was sure Kermit wouldn’t mind — the two of them hardly had the history, and Shrek knew the frog puppet was only there for a quick fuck and place to stay — but he and Hulk had known each other for years. How could he look at his partner in the eyes and tell him what he and Batman did in the employee lounge of a CVS? It was simple; he didn’t.

When Shrek walked through the wooden door of their cabin, he smiled and shook the boxes of condoms in front of Kermit. The frog grinned a toothless grin and said, “Well, golly gee, that sure makes me a happy frog. What do ya say we try them out tonight?”

“Sorry, Kermit, but I’m a bit tuckered out from the trip. Maybe tomorrow.” Shrek shuffled out of his assless chaps and settled in front of the fireplace. Hulk was probably out punching wood for the warm flame. Good, Shrek thought. He would be able to compose himself before letting Hulk know, or, better yet, he wouldn’t have to tell him. There was no evidence other than a sticky pair of chaps which, for the three men, was nothing incriminating. Yes, Shrek thought as he closed his eyes, he would wake up, and the sun would rise like it always does, he would get some dick in like usual. Business as usual.

But, unbeknownst to the ogre, something was growing, burgeoning, deep inside of his asshole.


End file.
